Horseshoe Crab Love in the Rain

So down here even the horseshoe crabs just want to get laid. Horseshoe crabs, like tourists, migrate from miles and miles away to Key West hoping to get laid. Many do; but often the really unattractive horseshoe crabs either have to settle for someone equally unattractive, frequently from their own hometown, or go home disappointed. See, life in Key West isn't all it's cracked up to be. The little, scrawny horseshoe crab just isn't going to get the big, strong, muscular horseshoe crab. The big, obese horseshoe crab isn't going to get mounted by the little twink horseshoe crab. Not for free, anyway.